“The White Lotus”and the Reckoning of White Women
By Morgan Roberts
Mike White has always been interested in messy, complicated women. Now on his third season of the anthology series, “The White Lotus,” White is using the ante when it comes to female interpersonal relationships. White has explored mother daughter relationships, employer employee relationships, and acquaintances vacationing together. But, in this latest season, White has decided to dive further into a trio of lifelong friends coming to a White Lotus resort with plenty of emotional baggage. The season is well underway, but with five episodes left in the season, there are still many twists and turns. Yet, after this past Sunday’s episode, “The Meaning of Dreams,” our three friends have taken a real turn. So, if you haven’t watched the latest episode, save this for later, as there will be spoilers ahead.
Carrie Coon, Michelle Monaghan, and Leslie Bibb in “The White Lotus” | Photograph by Fabio Lovino/HBO
This season, we were introduced to childhood friends Kate (Leslie Bibb), Jaclyn (Michelle Monaghan), and Laurie (Carrie Coon). The women have been friends for decades, first meeting in elementary school. Laurie is recently divorced, her daughter is beginning to exhibit behavioral problems, and she did not receive a promotion as a corporate lawyer in New York. Kate, meanwhile, lives with her husband and children in Austin, Texas. Her husband is a high-up company exec, and it appears that Kate’s identity is tied to that of her husband. Jaclyn, who is paying for the trip, is a successful Hollywood-based television actress who was the last of her friends to marry. On the boat headed to the resort, they naturally feel like a friend group, having very similar energy. As the first episode provides the audience with some time alone with the women, the cracks in the facade begin to show. Early on, Laurie seems to be on the outs with the other two. With Kate and Jaclyn complimenting one another’s looks, Laurie momentarily feels like an afterthought. Even her room is completely separate from the other two. This lack of proximity to her friends, leads to her eventual private breakdown as Jaclyn and Kate discuss their friend.
By the second episode, we’re hearing more of what Kate and Jaclyn honestly think of Laurie. While Jaclyn first has a tone of pity, considering her knowledge of the dissolution of Laurie’s marriage and her stunted ladder at work. Kate continues with highlighting the rumors about Laurie’s daughter struggling in school, Kate adding kindle for Jaclyn. Laurie, a bottle of wine deep, interrupts the pair, ultimately ending the gossip session. The next day, the women decide to partake in some of the wellness activities with biomarker testing. It sets up for ample fuel for comparison and more shit talking. Laurie and Jaclyn are told they have “the numbers” of women half their age, which Jaclyn can believe for herself but not for Laurie. On the outs, Kate was told her numbers were average and feels a need to defend herself and her newfound love of beans.
Leslie Bibb in “The White Lotus” | Photograph by Fabio Lovino/HBO
The biomarker testing opens the door for Jaclyn to talk more about her husband and his physique in front of recently divorced Laurie. Between the competition of body types and the largely unprovoked comments about her husband leads Laurie to start gossiping with Kate, who gladly joins in. Laurie even goes as far as suggesting Jaclyn’s cosmetic tweaks are far more substantial than she’s letting on. Jaclyn, naturally, overhears the chatter, but rather than crying, she seems a bit more at peace with it. Could it be due to her partaking in gossiping the night prior and recognizing it’s her turn? As an actress, is she used to people talking about her? Her calmness and collection in the moment takes her hard to read, and is further difficult to read the next morning as she makes niceties with Sritala (Lek Patravadi), the owner of the hotel and tries to wingwoman Laurie into having a fling with a staff member.
But the third episode takes the gossiping and the palpable tension between the women to a new level. After Jaclyn and Laurie have their energy healing sessions, the trio regroups at dinner. Kate immediately notes she finds it all either goofy or spooky, prompting Jaclyn to to voice her affinity for it, particularly struggling with religions - and her words, Christianity - which is centered on men; and while she does not feel the need to find only female-centered spiritual journeys, she notes her inability to connect with spirituality and stories which focus on men. Kate soon divulges that she attends church taking both Laurie and Jaclyn by surprise. Jaclyn asks Kate if it is at all difficult to be surrounded by Bible thumping Trump supporters with Kate giving the non-answer of what good people they are. Laurie and Jaclyn probe further with Laurie asking if Kate ever talks politics with her church buddies, leading Kate to reveal that she is a registered Independent but her husband is a Republican. This revelation leads Laurie to bluntly ask, “You didn’t vote for Trump, did you?” Kate makes a face and deflects further with, “Are we really gonna talk about Trump tonight?” Throughout the exchange, Jaclyn and Laurie are making worried, horrified glances at each other.
Michelle Monaghan in “The White Lotus” | Photograph by Fabio Lovino/HBO
Later that night, Kate wakes up to hear Laurie and Jaclyn talking about her. But this is different from our other gossiping sessions. The previous conversations were catty, petty, vain little chats. Now, it is two women expressing their shock and betrayal. And it is, at its very core, the reckoning white women are needing to have. This shift amongst these friends is monumental. Yes, Laurie and Jaclyn live in New York and Los Angeles, respectively. These are areas seen as “blue bubbles.” But Kate lives in Austin, usually seen as a liberal city in a Republican-controlled state. And so it goes further than just bubbles and community. Early on in their conversation, Jaclyn and Laurie clearly believe that Kate holds the same values and beliefs as they do. Even as the conversation proceeds, there is still a large deniability until Kate gives the uncomfortable smile and attempt to defuse the situation.
As a white woman, I have encountered my own fair share of Kates. Women who benefit from their proximity to systems of oppression that they possess a high level of cognitive dissonance to vote ion, the against their own interests. White women largely struggle to have these hard conversations with other white women. Especially when there is a likelihood we already know the answer. Obviously, there are safety concerns - does having this conversation put me at risk to be harmed - but many conflate discomfort with unsafe which leads to these conversations never occurring.
It is also important to note that this was written and filmed before the 2024 election. So, while this moment feels particularly timely, this is an age old issue. White women are unable and unwilling to have a reckoning with themselves and others to understand how their white privilege has influenced them. How can we be surprised by exit polling when we refuse to have these conversations in the first place? As audiences watch the show, it is a reflection so freshly in our current political climate reflected back at us. As a white woman in the audience, this moment poignantly and accurately depicts what is happening with these conversations. Between Laurie and Jaclyn, they each are attempting to give Kate an out. Surely, their lifelong friend cannot have voted for someone who deeply defiles their own beliefs. Instead, Kate corners herself, making it abundantly clear to the other two how her reality is far from the picture they have of her.
We are also seeing this conversation happen with wealthy white women - women who will always have access to reproductive healthcare, women who will be safe in economic hardship, and so on. Much like “Lord of the Flies,” there is an added layer of privilege. Do these same conversations look the same for working class women as they do for women of affluence? Likely no. But this is not new. What Mike White has done here is displayed the real discomfort in having these types of conversations. And, more importantly, how desperately needed they are. In all likelihood, white women who have primarily white friends are in close proximity to half of their circle voting like Kate. What does it mean to have those conversations? And what does that mean for those relationships? What does it say about me and my values if I choose to look past a revelation like this?
Carrie Coon in “The White Lotus” | Photograph by Fabio Lovino/HBO
In the show, it is unclear what the ripple effects will be. But it does lead to a monumental shift. Sure, Kate and Jaclyn, Laurie and Kate gossip with one another. There is clearly a rift in their friendship, but the conversation we hear a snippet of between Jaclyn and Laurie is far more profound than what we witnessed before. The little digs, the comparisons while desperately seeking approval, that is all grating and can ultimately breakdown a friendship. However, with Kate’s non-admission admission, this is far more of a fracture. In their conversation, Laurie remarks, “As a woman, it’s just so self defeating. Right?” Jaclyn responds with, “I’m still kinda in shock.” Instead of the pettiness that Jaclyn could walk away from or Laurie could have a cry about, this is something so rattling. Where the gossiping sessions were rooted in pettiness, this conversation is grounded in deep personal hurt.
This group of friends clearly makes for good television, but it has also started a necessary conversation about the women like Kate we have in our lives. How do we confront that? And will we ever properly reckon with it? I am unsure how far down this path “The White Lotus” will choose go, but seeing this critique of white women on a show like this is significant. Regardless of where Mike White takes us next with this trio, I am eagerly anticipating next Sunday's episode. And, more importantly, I hope that this is just the beginning of more depictions of white women reckoning with their privilege and having the uncomfortable conversations that have long ignored.